willpower.

i have none. it's so bad... brian comes out, says he's gonna have a donut, do i want one? why yes. yes, i do. but, that's not what i said. what i said was, "please eat your donut in the kitchen because i do not want to eat any more tonight and if i smell your donut, i will want one." he grumbles about having to eat in the kitchen. seriously?? cut me some slack here, man. i'm trying not to have a donut tonight! i have had enough to eat today and am not lacking- i do not need a donut.
anybody else feeling me on this?!? why is it so difficult to stand in the kitchen and eat the damn donut? i ask for a little help and get complaints.
next time i just won't buy any donuts. ha!

wtf?

i would like to know why chores don't get done unless i'm home. i'm not the only one living here. the floors don't get swept or vaccuumed. the table doesn't get washed. the counters don't get cleared. etcetera. etcetera.
now i'm home with two sick children, am sick myself (of course), and need to take care of the house and them.
what i want to know is, who's going to take care of me?

really, life?

so, my last two days have been hell-ish. seriously. day one, charlotte had 4 time-outs and a super early nap. she actually stuck mady's hand in her (charlotte's) mouth and bit her. bit her. bit. my. baby. seriously?!?!? definitely had a few moments where she was much safer in her room, sleeping in her bed than in the living room with me. day two, everyone woke up happy (i swear!). and then it changed. i don't know what happened. but apparently the half hour it was taking me to get myself ready for work and their stuff ready for daycare was too much. complete meltdowns. i cannot even tell you how happy i was to walk out the door at daycare- even amidst charlotte's screaming because i was leaving. adios, firstborn child of mine! i'll see ya around 3! we came home and they promptly took naps because for whatever reason, they chose not to sleep earlier. i left for a meeting shortly after they woke up and came home right before bedtime. and i have to tell you, while i wouldn't choose that for my 'everyday' life, i do enjoy it once a week!
i was a little nervous that today would follow that pattern, but alas, i got to sleep in until 8:42. 8:42!! those girls were tired! and i am so thankful! everyone has been happy and things appear to have returned to normal (whatever that is). looks like today will be a good day!

i need a project...

i think i need a project. something big. i've been knitting hats, but i don't think that's a long-term project. maybe i should be like that girl in "julie and julia" and cook through a cookbook and post pics. that could be fun. or maybe i should commit to reading 100 books and writing about them. orrrrr.... something else. i don't know. any ideas?

true life confession

true life confession number 1:
i turn the tv on and let it babysit my kids while i get housework done. bad mom award? maybe. but i think i'm a much better mother when i'm not anxious and upset about a messy house.

where have i been...?

i told you i wasn't good at keeping up with this! the girls keep me pretty busy and i've had lots going on at work, too. not necessarily good excuses considering there are lots of people with children and full time jobs who write daily.
i've seen these lists around a lot lately, and i'm enjoying them, so i thought i'd participate.

things i'm loving:
the cooler weather
leaves changing color
the pumpkin farm
it's candle season!
winter white lasagna- rachael ray --> check it out!
dunkin donuts hot chocolate with whipped cream (definitely had 2 yesterday...!)
my crazy busy schedule

things i'm not loving:
the rain
spiders- why are they all over my house??
mady's new (not) sleeping schedule
"i don't have to" in a whiney 2 year old voice
"i don't want to" in a whiney 2 year old voice
my crazy busy schedule

what are you loving? and not so much...??